Celebrity Fixation or: Why I Want to Meet Neil Finn

Are you desperate to meet a particular celebrity, but assume it will never happen and depress yourself over it? I’m going through that phase right now. I’ve decided that I really want to meet Neil Finn. I want to go up to the man, shake his hand, and tell him how much of an impact his music has had on my growth and development as a person. Even if it’s ten seconds. I want the man to know I exist because I admire him so much. It’s not one of those creepy obsessions. It’s not like I have a shrine devoted to Neil Finn. But when I listen to one of his songs, I feel like I know him. I’ve spent so many cumulative hours listening to his work. I’ve seen him perform live, as part of the Pajama Club (his latest side project). He was great that night. I was awestruck that I was in the same room as him. But once that show was over, I went back to regular life. I heard a few people who went to that gig saw him before it began, as he was entering the building. Oh how I envied them!

I often worry what I’d do if I actually got to meet him. I mean, when you have an opportunity in front of you that doesn’t come ‘round too often, you overthink the situation and are prone to stuffing it up. For example, earlier this year, I walked past Nathan Hindmarsh an hour before he was set to play against Manly. For the uninitiated, Nathan Hindmarsh is the captain of the NRL team I support, the Parramatta Eels. It took me a moment to actually realise it was him. When I did, I gave him a pat on the back and said “It’s really him!” He was posing for a photo with some fans while I did this, by the way. He gave me a puzzled look as if to say “Are you alright, mate?” It was terribly embarrassing and I couldn’t erase it from my mind for the rest of the night.

So, yeah, it would be great to meet Neil Finn one day, just so I could tell him that his music has been a gift to me, and to many others. It has been the soundtrack of many melancholic nights, as well as many happy ones. I’m sure he’s heard this all before, but fandom is a complex notion. There are just some people who you admire so much that you feel like you NEED to meet them before you die.

So...I Wrote a Poem About Unrequited Love

I cannot monopolise your feelings

Or cameo in your dreams

I’ll never sit with you and talk freely

Between coffee and Arnott’s Creams.

Because you don’t know the private struggle:

The thoughts that flail about

In the mind of the unloved man

Who stares blankly into space

And forgets as best as he can.

There’s always that craving;

That lust for supple skin

There is no desire as intense

No feeling that is akin.

I need that recognition;

Tell me that I matter.

Create a second groove in my couch

Before my self-esteem falls to tatters.

You’ll never know the feeling

Of wanting what you can’t get.

Kiss me now:

Hard;

With passion;

Because it’s better to try

Than to regret.