Surprise surprise! I've decided to revisit the world of blogging. I told someone on Facebook a month or so ago that my blog was not "on hiatus", but that my blogging days were in fact over. Clearly, I was thinking too rashly. Today I return with a post that is rather personal, but one that I feel the need to divulge. Looking at the title of my blog, you would probably assume that this post will be about love transcending the barrier of age when it comes to marriage. Well, you're wrong. This blog is about how I am 18 years old, yet I don't live the life of a typical 18 year-old. Sociologically, I am younger than 18. Psychologically, I am older than 18.
I'm an 18 year-old university student who is unemployed, and without a driver's licence. I *still* haven't gone for my Learners test (see I Have No Drive to Drive). These days, it seems, you can't have a social life if you don't drive, or don't have money to go out. I'm currently in my two month university semester break. The last day of semester was the 1st of June; it is now the 29th of June. I haven't seen my friends at all in this time. Not once. In fact, the only time I've left the house to go somewhere was when my mum and I went to see a concert in the city a few weeks ago. I would have invited my friends instead of my mum, but I don't think any of them would care for the music of Neil Finn. This blog is not about bad-mouthing my friends. I realise that my friends *have* invited me places, but I have declined, sometimes without citing a reason. They usually ask me to come out with them to a local club, but I don't see the appeal in it. They like drinking alcohol more than I do, and they like playing the pokies, which I don't like doing at all. I can't go out as easily as they can. I don't have my licence, so I can't just drive straight to a place and meet them all there. I feel like a nuisance when I have to ask for a lift.
But the hardest aspect of all this is the lack of money. On the rare occasion that I go out somewhere, I need to borrow the money from my mother, who does not work and is a pensioner. As you probably know, I don't live with my father as my parents are divorced. My father does not support me at all financially. My older brother is practically the stand-in for my father. There have been many times where I've declined to go out simply because my family could not afford it. Does it make me a selfish and lazy person because I don't have a job to support my family? Yes, it probably does. The truth is, I just haven't been raised with the "traditional family values" that many middle-class families espouse. Neither of my parents undertook tertiary education, and they've never had fancy jobs. Right now, neither of them work. I don't have a father figure who's there to ask me "What is it you want from life?", and help me chase my dreams (not that I have any major ambitions). I don't have a bank account that my parents contribute to in the hope that I'll one day settle down with a wife and kids.
I am spoilt. Not superficially spoilt, in the way that, say, Paris Hilton is. It's just that I'm spoilt with love...from my mother. She's never ordered me to get a job, or to get my licence. She often tells me to live life how *I* want to. She's always been very flexible like that. The main thing that matters to her is that my brother and I are *happy*. Am I happy? I'm never truly happy, but I'm usually content. I have some horrible moods creep over me from time to time, but for the most part, I'm fairly optimistic about life. With all this considered, do I sound like an 18 year-old? I think I sound like a 15 year-old. I'm just not *living* life right now. I should be going out with friends and making a bit of cash to get by, but I'm not. My day consists of watching TV and communicating on social networking sites. Don't feel sorry for me, because it's all my fucking fault.
Now that all the heavy stuff is out of the way, it's time to move on to the part of the blog that will possibly make me sound like a snob. Rest assured, I don't intend to sound like one; I just feel that this topic cannot be adequately addressed without discussion of this. Whilst I am like a 15 year-old sociologically, this is not the case psychologically. I *know* I am smart. There, I said it. Not trying to boast, but if plenty of people have told me this, it must be true. I think there's a link between this lack of social life and precociousness. Because I don't leave my house all that often, I have more time at home to research topics that fascinate me. Sometimes I'll read through random Wikipedia articles, just to learn something new for the day. Ever since primary school, I've had this propensity to learn and pick up things that I overhear. I don't just watch The Simpsons because of the numerous jokes and sight gags. I watch it for the references to pop culture. I was probably only 7 years old when I first saw the episode Treehouse of Horror V. Despite this, I knew that The Shinning was a parody of Kubrick's The Shining. Sure, I didn't know what a 'parody' was, or who Kubrick was, but I spotted the reference because I'd seen bits of The Shining on cable television before. It is this ability to remember fine details and relate them to something else that has made me the precocious being I am today, I believe. As most of you would know, my tastes in music and film are unorthodox for a person of my age. Give me The Beatles over Lady Gaga, and Rear Window over Transformers. This is not a concious choice. I do not think "I want to be more sophisticated than everyone else, so I will immerse myself in classic music and films." It just so happens that my preferences were conditioned in me from an early age.
As a Facebook user, I am becoming increasingly dissatisfied with some of the status updates I read, and some of the ridiculous pages that are popping up. I've seen status updates along the lines of "I wanna have sex with somebody", and there was nothing satirical behind them. The pages, on the other hand, are getting out of control. Not only do many of them contain atrocious spelling, but there are a fair few that are downright rude and disgusting, too. Now, I'm generally not the type of person to get politically correct about such matters, but I feel that too many people are just creating these pages for shock value, taking advantage of the relative freedom of Facebook. Does all this complaining make me seem old? Maybe so. But I think a lot of this 'premature maturity' has to do with interacting with adults on Twitter. I'm sorry, Facebook peeps, but the people of Twitter are more enlightening than you are. I can hold intellectually-stimulating conversations with them, and they are generally more understanding and compassionate than the people of Facebook. Of course, many people have both Twitter and Facebook, like me. It's those who solely use Facebook that are generally the least enthralling. In essence, when you communicate with adults for long enough, a part of you begins to behave and think like an adult.
It's funny, isn't it? I'm so hopeless when it comes to living life. I mean, *really* living it. Earning money and spending it, driving a car, going out, etc. But I guess no one has the right to declare what constitutes 'living'. Conversely, I'm ahead of many people my age when it comes to matters of the mind, whether it be my abounding general knowledge or cognitive thinking. I've been alive for 18 years - my flesh and being have been around for that duration. I'm probably wasting my youth as the days go by, but it will all be better, someday.
Regards,
Steven
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
How to Find the Song of Your Life
It's been ages since I've written a blog. If you're a fan of my blogs, then I'm sorry for my absence, but motivation has been scarce as of late. Anyway, I've decided to write an entry about this 'formula' that I concocted to find the song of your life; the song that you were born to listen to. The truth is, the song you end up with doesn't define your life, but it's fun to pretend that it does.
I was recently browsing Wikipedia, and after frequently ending up on disambiguation pages, I thought to myself "Wow; there are so many album pages on Wikipedia, even really obscure albums that belong to niche genres." This gave me an idea. I would begin on a particular year, then find an album that was released in that year, and then randomly pick a song from that album. All of this would be decided by chance, and the song that fate selects for me would become the song of my life.
Things you will need to carry out this formula:
* This website: http://www.psychicscience.org/random.aspx
* A die (dice) with letters instead of dots, or this website: http://letterdice.speedymarks.com/
* Wikipedia.
STEP 1:
Go to the website http://www.psychicscience.org/random.aspx. You need to generate 1 random integer between 19 and 20 in order to decide whether the album comes from the 20th or 21st century. Make sure the preference is set to 'Open Sequence'. Press 'GO' when done (duh!).
STEP 2:
Use the same website to generate 1 random integer between 0 and 99. This will determine the final two numbers in your year. Depending on whether you were given a year in the 20th or 21st century, you may have to submit your search a few times to find a year where Wikipedia determines that albums were released. E.g. There is no Wikipedia category for '1933 albums', and we aren't in the year 2022 yet.
STEP 3:
Now that you've determined the year that your album/song was released, you need to use Wikipedia to narrow down the album that the song of your life comes from. For the sake of this blog entry, let's just say your year is 1986. Start at this page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Albums_by_year and click on '1986 albums'. Here's where your letter die becomes handy. Roll the die. Whatever letter you get is the first letter of your album. Let's just say you roll a 'C'. The song of your life will come from an album that begins with 'C', and was released in 1986. Keep rolling the die to narrow down the spelling of your album title. Let's just say the second letter you roll is an 'R', and the third letter you roll is an 'O'. In this case, you are left with only one album - Crowded House by Crowded House. Sorry, couldn't help but use my favourite band for the example. For albums that begin with a numeral, e.g. 3 Doors Down by 3 Doors Down, you can either discard them completely (like I did, admittedly), or spell out the numeral as a word, e.g. three instead of 3 (duh!). Once your album has been spelled out, click on it.
STEP 4:
Finally, to discover the song of your life, you'll need to return to the website that you began with (http://www.psychicscience.org/random.aspx). Crowded House features 11 tracks, so I would generate 1 integer between 1 and 11. Hence, 1 integer between 1 and [final track number], for whatever album fate provides you with. The generated number is then corresponded with the album's track listing to reveal the song of your life!
For those interested, the song of my life is Pieces of Quiet by Khanate, from their self-titled album. Trust me to be given a song that goes for 13 minutes and 24 seconds! I listened to it all, and I hate it. It belongs to the 'drone metal' genre. Here are the lyrics to the song:
I was recently browsing Wikipedia, and after frequently ending up on disambiguation pages, I thought to myself "Wow; there are so many album pages on Wikipedia, even really obscure albums that belong to niche genres." This gave me an idea. I would begin on a particular year, then find an album that was released in that year, and then randomly pick a song from that album. All of this would be decided by chance, and the song that fate selects for me would become the song of my life.
Things you will need to carry out this formula:
* This website: http://www.psychicscience.org/random.aspx
* A die (dice) with letters instead of dots, or this website: http://letterdice.speedymarks.com/
* Wikipedia.
STEP 1:
Go to the website http://www.psychicscience.org/random.aspx. You need to generate 1 random integer between 19 and 20 in order to decide whether the album comes from the 20th or 21st century. Make sure the preference is set to 'Open Sequence'. Press 'GO' when done (duh!).
Use the same website to generate 1 random integer between 0 and 99. This will determine the final two numbers in your year. Depending on whether you were given a year in the 20th or 21st century, you may have to submit your search a few times to find a year where Wikipedia determines that albums were released. E.g. There is no Wikipedia category for '1933 albums', and we aren't in the year 2022 yet.
STEP 3:
Now that you've determined the year that your album/song was released, you need to use Wikipedia to narrow down the album that the song of your life comes from. For the sake of this blog entry, let's just say your year is 1986. Start at this page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Albums_by_year and click on '1986 albums'. Here's where your letter die becomes handy. Roll the die. Whatever letter you get is the first letter of your album. Let's just say you roll a 'C'. The song of your life will come from an album that begins with 'C', and was released in 1986. Keep rolling the die to narrow down the spelling of your album title. Let's just say the second letter you roll is an 'R', and the third letter you roll is an 'O'. In this case, you are left with only one album - Crowded House by Crowded House. Sorry, couldn't help but use my favourite band for the example. For albums that begin with a numeral, e.g. 3 Doors Down by 3 Doors Down, you can either discard them completely (like I did, admittedly), or spell out the numeral as a word, e.g. three instead of 3 (duh!). Once your album has been spelled out, click on it.
STEP 4:
Finally, to discover the song of your life, you'll need to return to the website that you began with (http://www.psychicscience.org/random.aspx). Crowded House features 11 tracks, so I would generate 1 integer between 1 and 11. Hence, 1 integer between 1 and [final track number], for whatever album fate provides you with. The generated number is then corresponded with the album's track listing to reveal the song of your life!
For those interested, the song of my life is Pieces of Quiet by Khanate, from their self-titled album. Trust me to be given a song that goes for 13 minutes and 24 seconds! I listened to it all, and I hate it. It belongs to the 'drone metal' genre. Here are the lyrics to the song:
Under a bed, a leg and a saw, red teeth gnaw
No more whine, no more whine, quiet time
No more whine
Metal teeth red, red teeth gnaw, leg and saw
Under a bed, a leg and a saw, red teeth gnaw
Silence, while I strip - bones (gnaw, so quiet)
Dark - and quiet, we go...into quiet time
No more whine
...your bones...
No more whine, no more whine, quiet time
No more whine
Metal teeth red, red teeth gnaw, leg and saw
Under a bed, a leg and a saw, red teeth gnaw
Silence, while I strip - bones (gnaw, so quiet)
Dark - and quiet, we go...into quiet time
No more whine
...your bones...
THOSE ARE THE ONLY LYRICS IN A SONG THAT GOES FOR 13:24!!!!!!!
Here is the complete song:
Well, I hope you enjoy discovering the song of your life. If you're bothered, share this formula with your family and friends. Perhaps you could make a playlist of the songs that your friends ended up with. Be creative!
Regards,
Steven
Sunday, January 16, 2011
I Don't Get Drunk, and I Don't Smoke. Leave Me Alone.
Last night, I went to a friend's 18th birthday party. I had a really good time - not because I got smashed, or because I indulged myself with numerous cigarettes. I enjoyed myself because I got to spend some quality time with mates, and had some of the best conversations that I've ever had. Of course, there was alcohol at the party, and I didn't mind that at all. If you drink responsibly, there is nothing to worry about. There were also a few guys smoking cigarettes at the party. While I frown upon this habit, I realise that people have the right to smoke, and that I should leave them be.
A problem arises when people try and coerce me into drinking alcohol. Now, I am not a teetotaller. That is, I do not abstain from drinking alcohol entirely. When I drink alcohol, it is almost always beer. Spirits don't really appeal to me. My only alcoholic beverage last night was one beer, which has been the trend in most parties I've been to. Most of my friends had some form of alcohol last night, and some of them were either drunk or tipsy. Most people who didn't drink were designated drivers. There was a point in the night where Smirnoff shots were poured. I expressed that I didn't want one, because I do not like the taste. Regardless, my 'friends' (well, one or two of them) still pressured me into drinking a shot. I don't easily succumb to peer pressure, and so I declined their offers. One of my friends, Lucas, is another person who doesn't see the big deal about alcohol. He's even less willing than I am to drink the stuff. Still, he was being pressured into drinking for most of the night. One 'friend', Nicholas, did something completely stupid. Nicholas offered Lucas $50 if he took one shot of Smirnoff, and wait for it...$60 if he threw up. Now, this behaviour is just fucking uncalled for. It really, really pisses me off. Which level-headed person would pay a friend to drink alcohol against his will? It's fucked. Some people 'get off' on alcohol. Nicholas, who was a designated driver, encouraged others to take shots all night. This is what I mean by 'getting off' on alcohol. For him, watching two guys take shots at the same time is akin to how Romans watched gladiatorial contests in the Colosseum. A massive spectacle. Another thing that annoys me is when drunk people continually announce "I'm drunk," as if they expect a round of applause. The only thing they'd get from me is a shake of the head, and perhaps a sigh. Getting drunk is not a positive thing. It doesn't make you better than any sober person. It is not a thing that should be glorified. By the way, if anyone with an alcohol 'problem' or addiction is reading this, I do not feel sorry for you. You weren't born with such a problem; you brought it upon yourself. Another striking moment from last night is when one of my friends, Anthony, mentioned an upcoming party, and said to Lucas "If you're not gonna drink, then you shouldn't go. That's the only reason why people are going." Lucas replied "But Steven doesn't drink." Anthony's response took me by surprise. He said "Steven's an exception. People expect Steven not to drink." I don't think I replied to Anthony's comment; I was too lost in my thoughts. Why do I attract that label? Why must it be a big deal that I hardly drink alcohol? Why must people who don't get drunk or tipsy be seen as 'different'? Why have parties changed their purpose from a social sphere to interact, to a place to vomit your guts up? That moment occurred early on in the night, and it was then that I decided that I would write this blog.
The second issue that is on my mind, as you can gauge from this blog's title, is smoking cigarettes. Now, I wasn't offered any cigarettes last night, thankfully. That would have been awkward. Generally, smokers aren't as pushy as drinkers. Smokers generally realise that their habit is a negative one, but simply state that they are addicted. Most smokers that I know do not wish the habit upon friends and family. Drinkers, on the other hand, will almost always ask "Are you sure?" when you decline an alcoholic beverage. They are proud of their habit, and want others to join them in their drunken stupor. Last night, a friend who smokes changed chairs because his cigarette smoke was too close to my face. He did this out of his own will, and then exclaimed "A smoker should never bring a non-smoker down." That was very nice of him to say. If only more smokers could be as considerate as he is. This paragraph isn't being written in the same vein as the previous one. I'm not expressing my disgust for those who smoke, merely clarifying that I don't smoke, and that I never will. Can you believe that I've grown up in a house of smokers? That's right: Both of my parents, as well as my brother, smoke. Just about all of my brother's friends smoke. My neighbour, who frequently comes over to my house, smokes. I'm sick of being an innocent victim of passive smoking.
To conclude this entry, I leave you with a final thought:
A problem arises when people try and coerce me into drinking alcohol. Now, I am not a teetotaller. That is, I do not abstain from drinking alcohol entirely. When I drink alcohol, it is almost always beer. Spirits don't really appeal to me. My only alcoholic beverage last night was one beer, which has been the trend in most parties I've been to. Most of my friends had some form of alcohol last night, and some of them were either drunk or tipsy. Most people who didn't drink were designated drivers. There was a point in the night where Smirnoff shots were poured. I expressed that I didn't want one, because I do not like the taste. Regardless, my 'friends' (well, one or two of them) still pressured me into drinking a shot. I don't easily succumb to peer pressure, and so I declined their offers. One of my friends, Lucas, is another person who doesn't see the big deal about alcohol. He's even less willing than I am to drink the stuff. Still, he was being pressured into drinking for most of the night. One 'friend', Nicholas, did something completely stupid. Nicholas offered Lucas $50 if he took one shot of Smirnoff, and wait for it...$60 if he threw up. Now, this behaviour is just fucking uncalled for. It really, really pisses me off. Which level-headed person would pay a friend to drink alcohol against his will? It's fucked. Some people 'get off' on alcohol. Nicholas, who was a designated driver, encouraged others to take shots all night. This is what I mean by 'getting off' on alcohol. For him, watching two guys take shots at the same time is akin to how Romans watched gladiatorial contests in the Colosseum. A massive spectacle. Another thing that annoys me is when drunk people continually announce "I'm drunk," as if they expect a round of applause. The only thing they'd get from me is a shake of the head, and perhaps a sigh. Getting drunk is not a positive thing. It doesn't make you better than any sober person. It is not a thing that should be glorified. By the way, if anyone with an alcohol 'problem' or addiction is reading this, I do not feel sorry for you. You weren't born with such a problem; you brought it upon yourself. Another striking moment from last night is when one of my friends, Anthony, mentioned an upcoming party, and said to Lucas "If you're not gonna drink, then you shouldn't go. That's the only reason why people are going." Lucas replied "But Steven doesn't drink." Anthony's response took me by surprise. He said "Steven's an exception. People expect Steven not to drink." I don't think I replied to Anthony's comment; I was too lost in my thoughts. Why do I attract that label? Why must it be a big deal that I hardly drink alcohol? Why must people who don't get drunk or tipsy be seen as 'different'? Why have parties changed their purpose from a social sphere to interact, to a place to vomit your guts up? That moment occurred early on in the night, and it was then that I decided that I would write this blog.
The second issue that is on my mind, as you can gauge from this blog's title, is smoking cigarettes. Now, I wasn't offered any cigarettes last night, thankfully. That would have been awkward. Generally, smokers aren't as pushy as drinkers. Smokers generally realise that their habit is a negative one, but simply state that they are addicted. Most smokers that I know do not wish the habit upon friends and family. Drinkers, on the other hand, will almost always ask "Are you sure?" when you decline an alcoholic beverage. They are proud of their habit, and want others to join them in their drunken stupor. Last night, a friend who smokes changed chairs because his cigarette smoke was too close to my face. He did this out of his own will, and then exclaimed "A smoker should never bring a non-smoker down." That was very nice of him to say. If only more smokers could be as considerate as he is. This paragraph isn't being written in the same vein as the previous one. I'm not expressing my disgust for those who smoke, merely clarifying that I don't smoke, and that I never will. Can you believe that I've grown up in a house of smokers? That's right: Both of my parents, as well as my brother, smoke. Just about all of my brother's friends smoke. My neighbour, who frequently comes over to my house, smokes. I'm sick of being an innocent victim of passive smoking.
To conclude this entry, I leave you with a final thought:
Am I the normal one, because I don't succumb to harmful temptations? Or am I the strange one, because I'm part of the minority who has no curiosity to try such substances?
Feel free to answer that question for me, but only if you're going to answer sensibly.
Regards,
Steven
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Top Ten Jobs for the Taking if I've Fucked up my HSC
10. Cock fight commentator
09. Party clown
08. Kissing booth operator
07. The guy who writes those woeful jokes on the back of chip packets
06. Janitor at Fairfield Chase
05. Joke-writer for Christmas crackers
04. Rewind guy at the video store
03. Proactiv model
02. Waterboy for the Australian National Lacrosse Team
01. Author of fortune cookie messages, based in Brooklyn, New York
See? It ain't so bad.
09. Party clown
08. Kissing booth operator
07. The guy who writes those woeful jokes on the back of chip packets
06. Janitor at Fairfield Chase
05. Joke-writer for Christmas crackers
04. Rewind guy at the video store
03. Proactiv model
02. Waterboy for the Australian National Lacrosse Team
01. Author of fortune cookie messages, based in Brooklyn, New York
See? It ain't so bad.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I Have No Drive to Drive
On Wednesday, January 14, 2009, I turned 16. I could have taken my Learner's driving test on that day if I wanted to. "I'll wait two weeks or so until I try for my L's," I thought to myself. I just felt as though I needed that breathing space of two weeks before I tackled something such as driving.
It is Tuesday, December 14, 2010, and I still do not have my L's. I mean, it's not like I took the test and failed. I haven't even taken the test, period. If it's any consolation, I've taken the practice test numerous times, and have passed on most occasions. Now, for many teens, learning to drive is an exciting process - something they have craved since their junior years. A vehicle is generally associated with freedom. Most teens enjoy the prospect of driving because it gives their social lives some much-needed leverage. The thought of being able to drive to a place by oneself - a place where one wants to be, is tantalising to many teens. If a young adult has his/her own personal car, then that prospect is even more appealing. The adolescent mindset is one that generally has a focus on parental exclusion. Most teens don't want to be seen with Mum and Dad. They want to express individual will, and frequently associate with friends.
For whatever reason/s, those motivations have not come over me. I just haven't had the desire to learn to drive. OK...I was kinda lying when I said for whatever reason/s. I can think of a few specific reasons why I haven't gone for my L's yet. I will go through each reason in the form of an elaborated list.
1. A bad experience as a child - When I was approximately 9 years old, my dad had to get an old, faulty car to a smash repairs place (or something like that) at the end of my street. So, it was decided that my dad and brother would push start the car while I would control the steering and acceleration. Yes, it was illegal. Anyway, I lost control of the car, nearly caused an accident, and crashed into the gutter. Thankfully, no one was harmed. My dad and brother yelled at me, and I ran off home, frightened and confused. To this day, that experience remains quite vivid.
2. Growing up in a matriarchal household - If you didn't know, my parents divorced in 2003. For the past seven years, I've lived with my mum and my brother. My mum has never driven in her life - she doesn't have a licence, and has a self-confessed 'phobia of cars and driving'. Thus, for my adolescent years, I haven't had a father figure to 'show me the ropes', or to encourage me to drive. It seems that most teens these days learn to drive with their father. Of course, there's my brother, who is a good source of support, but in my opinion, he cannot be a direct substitute for a father. My brother has always been a good driver, and actually has an interest in cars, however I believe that he lacks the 'wisdom' or the 'experience' of a parent driver.
3. My brother teaching me - Speaking of my brother, he is the one who'll be teaching me to drive when I eventually get my L's. As I said, he is a good driver, and I have complete trust in him. It's just that I'm worried about how he'd react if I made a mistake (and I WILL make mistakes). In the past, he has told me off for very minor mistakes that I've made. He is quite impatient at times, and I would feel as if I was under too much pressure by learning under him. The fact of the matter is, I will be learning under him. I would actually prefer him to teach me than some driving instructor.
4. Fear of failure/question of difficulty - OK, this reason is slightly stupid, but I'm concerned that driving a car may actually be difficult. Of course, my bad experience as a child contributes to me having this feeling. I often think "Surely, driving cannot be difficult. Just look at how many people are on the road. Look at how many people my age are learning to drive. If the majority of people can drive, then surely, I can do it too." Despite thinking that, I still have my doubts. I want to learn to drive using an automatic transmission car. I honestly don't think I have the coordination or reflexes to drive a manual car. Since there are no automatic cars at my house, that makes things kinda difficult.
Well, those are my reasons for not yet attaining my Learner's licence. Now, many people, including some of my friends, are continually giving me a hard time over the fact that I still don't have my L's. I have laughed off many of their comments, but sometimes I find them to be quite annoying. There's a running joke between two of my friends - Lucas and Nicholas. They have told me numerous times that if I haven't got my L's by the time I am 18, they will pay for my L's test and drive me to the nearest RTA on my birthday. For some reason, I think it may come to that stage, sadly. Anyway, the bottom line of this blog is that you shouldn't make judgements about people without knowing the full story. It's not that I'm lazy. People don't remain lazy for this long. I happen to have numerous psychological reasons for my decision, which I have explained in this blog, and so you shouldn't just dismiss my decision as one based purely on laziness. Think before you speak, and allow me to go at my own pace.
Regards,
Steven
It is Tuesday, December 14, 2010, and I still do not have my L's. I mean, it's not like I took the test and failed. I haven't even taken the test, period. If it's any consolation, I've taken the practice test numerous times, and have passed on most occasions. Now, for many teens, learning to drive is an exciting process - something they have craved since their junior years. A vehicle is generally associated with freedom. Most teens enjoy the prospect of driving because it gives their social lives some much-needed leverage. The thought of being able to drive to a place by oneself - a place where one wants to be, is tantalising to many teens. If a young adult has his/her own personal car, then that prospect is even more appealing. The adolescent mindset is one that generally has a focus on parental exclusion. Most teens don't want to be seen with Mum and Dad. They want to express individual will, and frequently associate with friends.
For whatever reason/s, those motivations have not come over me. I just haven't had the desire to learn to drive. OK...I was kinda lying when I said for whatever reason/s. I can think of a few specific reasons why I haven't gone for my L's yet. I will go through each reason in the form of an elaborated list.
1. A bad experience as a child - When I was approximately 9 years old, my dad had to get an old, faulty car to a smash repairs place (or something like that) at the end of my street. So, it was decided that my dad and brother would push start the car while I would control the steering and acceleration. Yes, it was illegal. Anyway, I lost control of the car, nearly caused an accident, and crashed into the gutter. Thankfully, no one was harmed. My dad and brother yelled at me, and I ran off home, frightened and confused. To this day, that experience remains quite vivid.
2. Growing up in a matriarchal household - If you didn't know, my parents divorced in 2003. For the past seven years, I've lived with my mum and my brother. My mum has never driven in her life - she doesn't have a licence, and has a self-confessed 'phobia of cars and driving'. Thus, for my adolescent years, I haven't had a father figure to 'show me the ropes', or to encourage me to drive. It seems that most teens these days learn to drive with their father. Of course, there's my brother, who is a good source of support, but in my opinion, he cannot be a direct substitute for a father. My brother has always been a good driver, and actually has an interest in cars, however I believe that he lacks the 'wisdom' or the 'experience' of a parent driver.
3. My brother teaching me - Speaking of my brother, he is the one who'll be teaching me to drive when I eventually get my L's. As I said, he is a good driver, and I have complete trust in him. It's just that I'm worried about how he'd react if I made a mistake (and I WILL make mistakes). In the past, he has told me off for very minor mistakes that I've made. He is quite impatient at times, and I would feel as if I was under too much pressure by learning under him. The fact of the matter is, I will be learning under him. I would actually prefer him to teach me than some driving instructor.
4. Fear of failure/question of difficulty - OK, this reason is slightly stupid, but I'm concerned that driving a car may actually be difficult. Of course, my bad experience as a child contributes to me having this feeling. I often think "Surely, driving cannot be difficult. Just look at how many people are on the road. Look at how many people my age are learning to drive. If the majority of people can drive, then surely, I can do it too." Despite thinking that, I still have my doubts. I want to learn to drive using an automatic transmission car. I honestly don't think I have the coordination or reflexes to drive a manual car. Since there are no automatic cars at my house, that makes things kinda difficult.
Well, those are my reasons for not yet attaining my Learner's licence. Now, many people, including some of my friends, are continually giving me a hard time over the fact that I still don't have my L's. I have laughed off many of their comments, but sometimes I find them to be quite annoying. There's a running joke between two of my friends - Lucas and Nicholas. They have told me numerous times that if I haven't got my L's by the time I am 18, they will pay for my L's test and drive me to the nearest RTA on my birthday. For some reason, I think it may come to that stage, sadly. Anyway, the bottom line of this blog is that you shouldn't make judgements about people without knowing the full story. It's not that I'm lazy. People don't remain lazy for this long. I happen to have numerous psychological reasons for my decision, which I have explained in this blog, and so you shouldn't just dismiss my decision as one based purely on laziness. Think before you speak, and allow me to go at my own pace.
Regards,
Steven
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Phases
OK, let me just cut to the chase and tell you all that I haven't had the motivation to blog as of late. The last time that I blogged was November the 25th. Since then, I haven't had any impulses or desires to spill my thoughts on this site. Nothing has happened that has triggered a creative buzzer within me. My friend Lucas has told me that since graduating from school, he has lost some of his creativity. For example, he doesn't play his bass as often. Maybe the same thing has happened to me. Perhaps I'm still adjusting to post-HSC life. I feel like I'm letting my readers down by not blogging that much anymore. Sure; the previous sentence sounds a bit egotistic...but I only included it because people have genuinely complimented me on my posts. Some people have told me that they read my blogs before they go to bed, almost like a ritual. Others say my blogs provide them with relaxation. Anyway, enough about the compliments. I originally set up this site with the intention of blogging daily. That lasted for almost two weeks, but I realised that I was forcing myself to blog, rather than allowing my mind to unravel itself naturally. I was struggling to come up with good topics. It felt like I was writing in essay form in each post. That formula seemed to be a success, as far as blogs go, but it soon became tedious for me. My next decision was to blog about four times a week, but I didn't even have the motivation for that...as you have discovered. So now, I've decided that I will blog when I feel like blogging. I'm not imposing any rules on myself. That way, there is no pressure to blog, nor is there any guilt over not blogging. In a way, this is a positive thing, because I may produce a blog when you least expect it. I don't know about you guys, but I'm a big fan of surprises. Based on my blog frequency as of late, this entry will come as a surprise.
I've entitled this entry Phases, referring to an aspect of my mentality. That is, when I discover something new (e.g. blogging), I become attached to it. I may become attached to it for a few weeks, perhaps two months. Sometimes, the 'phase' only lasts for a few days. I think that every human being goes through their own 'phases'. I'm sure that a lot of you have gone through a phase where you've watched The Simpsons every day of the week for a considerable amount of time. Then you may not have watched the show for six months, only to resume watching it for another four weeks. Earlier this year, I went through a one-week phase of being addicted to crosswords, after watching the documentary Wordplay (a gripping film, may I add). I still do the occasional crossword, but I am no longer in a phase where I'm addicted to crosswords. One significant phase that I am currently in is listening to the music of Crowded House and Neil Finn. For those who don't know, Neil Finn is the frontman of Crowded House. I've been listening to their music consistently for at least three months now. I've been familiar with the band for ten years, probably. But only now have I become addicted to their music. They are practically the only band I listen to now...it's almost disturbing, in a way. For the record, Crowded House is my favourite band, and Neil Finn is my favourite singer-songwriter.
So, now that I've provided you with a couple of examples of 'phases', you may be able to understand why I haven't been blogging too often lately. The period when I was blogging daily was just a phase. Sure, I enjoyed it, but the reality is that it didn't feel natural. The excitement of blogging has left me, however the enjoyment of it still remains. Yes; there is a difference. Blogging no longer feels like new terrain for me. In saying that, I'm not a seasoned veteran, either. I've just gotten over that first hump. I now know what it feels like to blog, hence I don't get a thrill from writing blogs anymore. That's all for now...I can't tell you when I'll produce my next blog. You'll find that out, soon enough.
Regards,
Steven
I've entitled this entry Phases, referring to an aspect of my mentality. That is, when I discover something new (e.g. blogging), I become attached to it. I may become attached to it for a few weeks, perhaps two months. Sometimes, the 'phase' only lasts for a few days. I think that every human being goes through their own 'phases'. I'm sure that a lot of you have gone through a phase where you've watched The Simpsons every day of the week for a considerable amount of time. Then you may not have watched the show for six months, only to resume watching it for another four weeks. Earlier this year, I went through a one-week phase of being addicted to crosswords, after watching the documentary Wordplay (a gripping film, may I add). I still do the occasional crossword, but I am no longer in a phase where I'm addicted to crosswords. One significant phase that I am currently in is listening to the music of Crowded House and Neil Finn. For those who don't know, Neil Finn is the frontman of Crowded House. I've been listening to their music consistently for at least three months now. I've been familiar with the band for ten years, probably. But only now have I become addicted to their music. They are practically the only band I listen to now...it's almost disturbing, in a way. For the record, Crowded House is my favourite band, and Neil Finn is my favourite singer-songwriter.
So, now that I've provided you with a couple of examples of 'phases', you may be able to understand why I haven't been blogging too often lately. The period when I was blogging daily was just a phase. Sure, I enjoyed it, but the reality is that it didn't feel natural. The excitement of blogging has left me, however the enjoyment of it still remains. Yes; there is a difference. Blogging no longer feels like new terrain for me. In saying that, I'm not a seasoned veteran, either. I've just gotten over that first hump. I now know what it feels like to blog, hence I don't get a thrill from writing blogs anymore. That's all for now...I can't tell you when I'll produce my next blog. You'll find that out, soon enough.
Regards,
Steven
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Rozelle Tram Depot
The abandoned Rozelle Tram Depot at Glebe is one of those places that you would have entered as a child with an ear-to-ear grin, begging your parents to stay for 'just five minutes more'; the type of place that makes your eyes light up. I was lucky enough to go there today with two of my mates - Lucas and Nicholas.
This particular tram depot is the largest of its kind in Sydney. At peak capacity, it ran approximately 200 trams from1918, to its closure in 1958. Since the depot was abandoned, it has become a haven for the homeless, a hot spot for vandals, and most astonishingly, a virtual sanctuary for street artists. There are still five trams in the depot, as well a bus. All of these vehicles have been heavily vandalised, however, this vandalism is undoubtedly quite stylish and aesthetically-pleasing. Take a look at what I mean:
This particular tram depot is the largest of its kind in Sydney. At peak capacity, it ran approximately 200 trams from1918, to its closure in 1958. Since the depot was abandoned, it has become a haven for the homeless, a hot spot for vandals, and most astonishingly, a virtual sanctuary for street artists. There are still five trams in the depot, as well a bus. All of these vehicles have been heavily vandalised, however, this vandalism is undoubtedly quite stylish and aesthetically-pleasing. Take a look at what I mean:
OK...maybe the trams aren't that aesthetically-pleasing on the inside, but from the outside, they are quite something. But it isn't just the trams that stand out in this amazing place. There is graffiti all over the place - not just crappy tags, but some impressive pieces of art.
I was initially worried that it would be hard to get into the depot. It is owned by the NSW Harness Racing Club, so I thought that there may have been security, or that all entrances would be blocked. That was not the case, and entry was as simple as walking through a set of massive gates. There is even graffiti on the building's exterior. Lucas and I were awestruck when we entered through the gates. Nicholas didn't really care that much. Lucas loves street art and photography, so this place was a goldmine for him. As for me, I also like street art, and I also enjoy exploring what I like to call 'hidden relics' of society. I've always enjoyed exploring unfamiliar places with interesting histories. There are spray cans scattered around the floor, as well as plenty of broken glass (windows from trams/the bus and the building itself). Some areas are moist and have plant life, whilst some areas are dangerous to walk on, due to missing, creaky or broken floorboards. What makes this place so exciting to explore (besides the art) is the vast amount of rooms it has, or the size of it as a whole. What's strange is that the toilets/shower block actually smells bad. It's quite creepy around that area. Believe it or not, there's still a bar of soap lying in one of the soap-holders! It isn't difficult to judge that the tram depot has been lived in, or is currently being lived in by squatters. There are food wrappers, empty bottles, clothes, mattresses...EVEN PORN!
Lucas, Nicholas and I weren't the only ones inside the tram depot today. There was a group of people in there who were filming a video. It turns out that the video was being filmed for Oprah Winfrey, and will be shown to her when she visits Australia next month. It is hoped that Oprah can promote the Rozelle Tram Depot as a place of heritage and community, and stop the local council from building apartments on the land. How do I know this? Because I was asked to say a few words about the place. The woman who approached me to be in the video seemed very friendly and down-to-earth, so I was more than happy to help her out. Lucas declined a role in the video because he didn't want his face or name on TV, and Nicholas refused to participate because he actually wants the apartments to be built on the site. So, I gave the Rozelle Tram Depot a decent plug, and it was all honest, too. I really do like the place.
Once we had thoroughly explored the place, Lucas, Nicholas and I decided to bid it farewell. We took some 'souvenirs' with us, which were empty spray cans. A woman who was passing by with a baby in a pram asked us " [Have you] been vandalising the place, as usual?" Lucas told her that we were just taking photos, which is the truth. I didn't like that woman. She had an elitist mentality, probably because she lives in an affluent part of Sydney. I walked along a rock ledge to get past a padlocked set of gates (not the ones we entered through), and when I landed on the concrete, I hurt my toes, and yelled out "FUCK!" I found this to be funny, because the woman and her toddler were still very close to us. Hilarious.
After spending a couple of hours today at the Rozelle Tram Depot, I can definitely tell you that it is a spectacular place. It's tucked away, and not often heard about, but don't let that deter you from checking it out. If you have an interest in street art, Sydney's heritage sites, or just like exploring wide open spaces, then I recommend this place to you. I may even be going back there as soon as next week! I took 53 photos today, and you can see them on my Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2083191&id=1050342231). Lucas took over 200 photos! Some are already up, but the entire set will be up by tomorrow.
Regards,
Steven
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