Tuesday, October 19, 2010

50 Things That Piss Me Off

This blog is a response to a previous blog of mine: My 'Cheap Thrills'. This time, instead of listing things that I find amusing, I will be listing things that I find rather annoying. They won't be things that I loathe, such as animal cruelty, just as my cheap thrills were not things that I had a great passion for, such as cinema. Instead, this list will comprise of my 'pet peeves' - the things that make my life that little bit more frustrating.

1. Incorrect TV guide listings.
2. When people sign out of MSN in the middle of a conversation, without saying goodbye.
3. When someone says "Sucked in!" I just find it to bloody disrespectful. There are worse words to say to someone, but for some reason, when someone says "Sucked in!", it sounds so...heavy and brutal.
4. Gherkins on fast-food burgers.
5. When a game show host cuts to a commercial break during a suspenseful moment. *Cough* Eddie McGuire. *Cough*.
6. People who don't appreciate wit, irony and comic timing when it comes to humour.
7. People who see The Simpsons as a pussy show because it isn't as risqué as Family Guy. By the way, I stopped watching new episodes of The Simpsons years ago. Classic episodes FTW!
8. People who click pens.
9. When a bird shits on me.
10. People who try to trivialise the aforementioned occurrence by saying "It's good luck when a bird shits on you." No. Just no.
11. The reaction people give me when I tell them that I have not seen The Godfather.
12. People who use big words thinking that they're smart, yet they use them in the wrong context.
13. Getting trapped behind slow walkers.
14. When I'm about to say something, but someone cuts me off.
15. When I miss a bus.
16. Students who borrow my stationery and don't return it (THIS ONE REALLY AGGRAVATES ME!).
17. People who ask me to spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (from Mary Poppins) when I tell them that I'm a good speller. Generally speaking, these people think that they're hilarious!
18. When I continuously bowl gutterballs in ten-pin bowling.
19. When I'm a passenger in a car, a good song comes on the radio, AND THE DRIVER CHANGES THE STATION.
20. When my mum tells me to get off the computer during a thunderstorm.
21. Soggy crust on pizza when I warm it up in the microwave as a leftover.
22. When I put my hand into a box of tissues and there are none left.
23. When I'm at a video store, and I can't make up my mind on what to hire, therefore I am stuck there for a large amount of time looking like an absolute idiot.
24. The weird looks I get from the people who work at the video store, referring to the above sentence. They must think I'm carrying a bomb or something. No; I'm not plotting an evil scheme...I just have specific tastes.
25. Accidentally tearing a cereal box when attempting to open it.
26. When I decide to watch a much-anticipated film on TV, but I have guests at my house who will not keep their voices down.
27. Trying to throw a scrunched-up ball of paper into a bin, but missing, and having to take the 'walk of shame' to pick it up and place it in the bin properly.
28. When people use "Because." as a reason for doing something. IT'S NOT A FUCKING REASON, UNDERSTOOD?
29. Being able to do something over and over again when by myself, but not being successful when I try to show someone else.
30. When I extend my hand in the hope that someone shakes it, but no-one is paying attention, so I retract my hand and pretend as though I am scratching my nose.
31. Incorrect spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc.
32. When I am labeled an egotist for commending myself on something. Modesty is a tad overrated if you ask me.
33. Realising that I am out of ice cubes.
34. Pouring a bowl of cereal, THEN realising that I don't have enough milk for it.
35. People who get their ear/s (or other body parts) pierced because they think it's cool. By all means, if you think there is some artistic purpose behind it, then do it. Otherwise, I don't get the hype.
36. Having a vending machine steal my money.
37. Films with a Hollywood ending.
38. Realising that I have missed a spot after I finish shaving, and having already put away my razor.
39. The quality of late-night free-to-air television.
40. Going to sleep in warm clothes because the weather is freezing, but waking up in those clothes to humid conditions.
41. The perception that the greater number of pages written in an exam equates to greater marks.
42. Spilling food or drink on my clothes. If I am at home, I will immediately change into new clothes, even if it's just a slight speck.
43. Playing Scrabble and having nothing but vowels on my rack.
44. Practically forgetting how to tie a tie after not wearing one in a while.
45. Accidentally biting my tongue.
46. Seeing graffiti on someone's property.
47. How I have Foxtel, but there's hardly anything on it that's worth watching.
48. A cold toilet seat.
49. Losing the lid to a pen.
50. That fact that this blog took far longer to compose than it should have.

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