It's time to share my thoughts on the emotion that is self-pity. Before I divulge my thoughts on the topic, I advise you all to watch this short clip, featuring some wise words by the wonderful Stephen Fry:
Powerful; isn't it?
The reason why I chose to discuss this emotion in this post is because some of the comments I receive on Formspring make me pity myself. I know that they shouldn't, but sadly, they do. Thankfully, I stumbled across the above video, and since I did, my feelings of self-pity aren't as strong. The reason why some of the Formspring insults make me pity myself is because I cannot think of a reason why I should receive them. As far as I know, no-one else who's close to me receives the same type of comments on Formspring, and thus I feel targeted. What Fry says about self-pity is correct: it only makes matters worse, because it doesn't actually solve anything. I could pity myself for days on end, but it wouldn't lift me out of my sorrows. A bad case of self-pity could lead me to thinking I'm not worthy of helping anyone else. It's just a massive indicator of inner weakness and insecurity. My problems with trolls on Formspring are insignificant compared to some of the evil acts committed around the world. I have it lucky compared to so many people. Still, it's so easy to fall into a state of self-pity, because the individual is in complete control of how much he/she pities himself/herself. You often encounter those people who say "I understand where you're coming from", in an attempt to make you feel comfortable. Most of the time, they actually don't understand, and that phrase is some generic line that they spit out to everyone else who's not feeling well. Hey, I'll be honest and say that I've used that phrase a few times, and I've never felt as though I'm helping when I've used it. The worst situation of all is when you feel as though someone should be pitying you, but that pity never comes, and you feel it's almost necessary to pity yourself. I've been in that situation a few times, and it's not pretty. For those guys in my grade...do you remember how we had to do that group activity at the Year 12 Retreat, where we sat in groups and shared our answers to questions on a sheet? Well, we had to complete this sentence: When someone hurts me, my immediate reaction is to... I answered 'wallow in self-pity'. Looking back on that, I now realise that self-pity would only intensify the hurt. So...what's the solution to self-pity? I would say ignorance - if you feel that you are the victim of undeserved taunts, or feel that you could have done something better, don't dwell on it. Put it behind you instead, and do something that you know you'll succeed at, something you know you'll be appreciated for, and most importantly, something that will restore your faith in yourself.
Thanks for reading,